i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
she smelled like a LAN party
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize