Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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