just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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