You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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