either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
