every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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