so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
