Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
