Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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