I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
