My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
