There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
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