I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
