what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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