question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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