what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize