your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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