So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
