Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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