There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
