Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
