My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
