Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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