It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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