Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She swung at the pinata with crutches
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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