that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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