Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
