Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Im part way to drunk.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
