All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
