You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Shame is for Republicans.
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