I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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