how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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