I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
