i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
