So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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