Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize