Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
