In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
How's work?
Spinning.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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