But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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