I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
