I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
