I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
