I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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