To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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