It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
