guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
