I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
