Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize