Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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