just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
