Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
