Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
