what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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