Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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