i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
