i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
