i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
