If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
