Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
