The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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