just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
