Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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