Duck Duck Cougar?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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