so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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