NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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